That night.

The sky was the clearest it could be.

On the night I needed it not to be.

happy thoughts

I badly needed to remember that when dark clouds come, YOU bring out your own sun.
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answer the question
you ask
look far away for the truth
it should be there, somewhere
you say
when courage was all that it took.

you want it but it costs
too much
this thing you don’t
think you deserve
if you looked up long enough
you’d see
faith has been given for free.

you fear the things
you don’t know
when there’s only one truth
worth believing:
you’ll grow a majestic tree
from a seed
if you trust you have all that you need.

lora g.
8.29.07

morning musings

It's funny how the most random things have such power to manipulate emotions. Maybe it's my current state of mind, or of heart, but in the past few months I finally understood how life truly turns into a rollercoaster ride at some point. It's been frustrating knowing that one little thing can trigger an unexpected flow of tears, but at the same time inspiring to know that the smallest gestures, by myself or others, can instantly turn it around and keep me positive again. Today it was staying up to catch the sun rise, hearing Petra Haden's Moon River (I'd never heard a woman, save for myself in the shower, sing it before), and realizing that my favorite time of year is just a couple of months away, that propelled my day to a good start. Praise God for the little things.

******

I've grown averse to negative feelings. Anger, hurt, disappointment--these feelings never threatened me as much as they do now. I'd always taken pride in being transparent, in unabashedly showing what and how I feel without fear. But now it surprises me to discover just how much effort I put into fighting these feelings, just how fearful I am of seeming vulnerable or weak. This just isn't me.

I pray that soon, I can channel all these feelings into something productive, even if it manifests itself into a simple, cohesive blog entry.

It's time for...me.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is put your life on hold. DON'T. Plans are good. But action is better. ACT. Because ultimately, your life is YOURS. And like I used to say, it's much easier to get over something that you did wrong, than to regret NOT doing something that could've been right. Don't fear mistakes; fear living a "perfect" life, then looking back and realizing you have absolutely NOTHING to show for it. Get scared or get scarred? I'd choose the latter any day.

Jump off the cliff if He asks you. He may choose not to catch you...but only because He wants to teach you how to fly. You owe it to yourself.

I owe it to myself.

The world is bigger than the piece of land you're standing on. I think it's time to jump. I think it's time to fly.

a new day

Lord, please give me a new day tomorrow. A new day with more hope than desperation, with more smiles than tears, with more faith than disappointment. I badly need a new day, Lord.

Please remind me that having You is greater than having everyone in this world, and that Your love alone can heal any pain.

I'm tired of fighting, but I know that You are here to fight my battles for me. I am exhausted, but I trust that in You I will find a place to rest and breathe again.

Thank You for giving me a reason to BE, Lord. I love You.

Lora

Baby Fever!!!

Okay. Something's very wrong here! Last I checked, we were just a group of nenes wondering how our lives would end up "when we grow up"! And now my some of my bestest friends are popping up BABIES! Living, breathing, adorably bite-able cutie pies!

Meet Danielle Beatriz Estorco Fernandez, a.k.a., Danie:


Actually, late na nga ito as she a year and a half already, but I still can't believe she came from Ging! When she's older I'll tell her the story of how ako pa ang bumili ni pregnancy test kit sa Watson's for her mom, at halos mapaiyak ang daddy niya because I saw "her" first because I was with Ging when she had her first ever ultrasound.

And now we have a newcomer, Ava Clarice Mariano Severance (sosyal noh?):



How cute is this little munchkin? So tisay! I was telling Camille that the big difference between giving birth to a full-bred, all-Pinoy kid and a half-American one is that the latter is more exciting just because you get to ask more questions than just "Is it a girl or a boy?" Diba? Paglabas ng baby mo, you get to ask the doctor,"Is she blonde?" "Blue ba ang mata?" "Nakuha ba ilong ng tatay niya?" Bwahahaha. Pag Pinoy din kasi ang tatay alam mo nang dark-haired and dark-eyed ang anak mo at all costs.

It's amusing in a very weird way how, back in 2005, the three of us would hang out with no inkling that a couple of years later, life would change dramatically for both of them. The funnier thing is, of us three, I was the one they expected to produce a kid first--but only for the reason that nung time na yun, 5 years na kami ni Lar and chronologically speaking, as in the "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a carriage" sense, assumption na lang na ako ang mauuna. I guess fate trumped time in this case, but I don't mind one bit because these girls just gave me two more reasons why my world is just wonderful!

Congratulations Camille! Can't wait to give Ava a big hug!
Ging: bring Dan to our next get-together naman para maexperience ko ang kamalditahan niya first-hand. Hehehe. :)

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